Wow... I'm still fucked up after what went down on planet Lohtu... I
my whole night lurking on Bernhab and Illum, dunno about all of you...
After realizing that Becky was nowhere to be found, I started to scope
the situation HARD and try and get the goods for all you Bukah fans out
there. Then, it happened, I stumbled outside wasted with my video
camera (maybs with my pants down) to find the one and only Bernhab
Gwonswaro FACING OFF AGAINST THE GOD OF SEX AND
ECSTACY HIMSELF in our alley way. It was soooo intense.
Gwonswaro fired off a few shots with his machine gun at Illum, claiming
that it would be over his dead body that he took his new found
love....Becky. Bukah. (:0!!!) Illum raised his voice in absolute RAGE and
demanded that Bernhab return his girl. Gwonswaro lost control and
began to laugh maniacally, so over-inflated by his disgustingly large ego
fueled endlessly by a quarter pound of coke and an army of die-hard
Gwonswaro fans. Illum, infuriated by Gwonswaro's insulence and
complete disregard for his demands, placed all his rage and power into
one gigantic energy ball, lunged to the sky, and upon firing, let out the
most ungodly of howls. The alleyway exploded into flames JUST before
a totally badass Gwonswaro dodged behind the dumpster bin to
majestically avoid the attack. Illum started firing energy explosions in
every which direction as stunned teenage girl onlookers lost their shit
from a close distance. Illum, in their own neighbourhood! Oh maeee
GAWWWDD!! Alas, it was too late for Illum... for I witnessed Bernhab
shuffle into the darkness, super trashed and not smooth at all... But
because Illum had lost control, he was blind to the triumphant fumbles
of the evil Bernhab.
That very same night while you were all trashed and rocking out
super hard to some local Lohtu resident's super kickass playlist, Illum
broadcasted to the world. He used his boundless sexual aura to cast a
spell over the entire world, forcing all of mankind into lustful furies of
rough sex. This way, he found he could take control of all broadcasting
systems in the world to make his demands known. And oh, how Illum
needed the airwaves... he was... forming an army. He had waged all-out
war on the evil Bernhab, and beckoned unto all Bukah fans to join him
in his mission. Shortly after Illum abandoned his post at the CBC,
anchor men and women of news crews all over the world came back to
their senses and rushed back to their jobs, in hopes that they wouldn't
be fired on the spot for their unexplainable antics... But, all were
pleasantly surprised upon returning to find that all of their fellow crew
members were in the same situation. This feeling of relief was quickly
soured by the realization that Bukah fans were rioting JUST OUTSIDE
THEIR DOORS, setting fire to buildings and wreaking havoc in the
streets. Illum's demands had immediately set the world on fire. News
crews rushed to the streets in an attempt to document but quickly found
that Bukah fans were completely out of control. The streets were
painted with lunatics scrambling to destroy anything remotely semblant
of the Evil Bernhab. One Bukah fan was found screaming at a lamp post
and calling it a "betch," before head butting it and ending up
unconscious on DelsBoneBone Avenue. Another was found chasing an
innocent man through the streets who happened to have a similar fro to
Bernhab's, before getting wailed hard by a truck. Just hours after Illum's
initial broadcast, he was found preaching to over 100 million Bukah fans
just outside New York City... They were chanting "JONGLE, DRIFFEE,
BUKEH" endlessly into the night, which translates roughly to "RETURN
THINE BECKY." BUT THEN, THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED.
Several explosions went off surrounding the assembly killing countless
Bukah fans instantly. The crowd immediately went into frenzy and panic.
The Evil Bernhab appeared on all 12 of the gigantic iMax screens
surrounding the venue, laughing....laughing....laughing. His maniacal
laughter echoed into the night, only to be muffled shortly after by the
roaring of 25 fighter jets screaming by overhead, dropping hundreds of
parachuters as they flashed through. It seemed... Gwonswaro had
formed an army of his own.
This, it seemed, was the end. Bernhab Gwonswaro versus
motherfucking Illum the almighty. It was goin down. The evil Bernhab
emerged from the darkness on stage and lunged suddenly and
drunkenly at Illum. SHOCK AND AWE. Bernhab had managed to
SHANK THE ALMIGHTY ILLUM. Illum, hardly shaken, lifted his head
slowly from the blow, and looked Gwonswaro dead in the eyes... The
P.A system suddenly erupted with vocal bass thunder only an infinitely
powerful sex god could muster, "IF I GO DOWN, I'M TAKING YOU
WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!" And with that, Illum began to emit millions of colors
from his body, and the space around him began to blur, stretch and tear
crazily until it tore right open. He held the evil Bernhab tightly in his
grasp as both their magnificent heads of hair blew fashionably and
furiously in the wind. The crowd stood silent. A final massive explosion
of color and gas detonated and annhilated all in its path... And with that,
they were gone. Everyone, was gone. News companies all around the
world desperately tried to squander an explanation for the mysterious
disappearance of Illum, Bernhab and the armies they had formed for
days afterwards... But the truth was, no one would ever know. The most
common opinion was that Illum had used the last of his strength to drag
the evil Bernhab into a parallel universe where they would continue their
epic battle to the death in an attempt to prove each of their love for the
great Becky Bukah... It just seemed to make the most sense from the
evidence given by their dialogue in their exchanges that night. But this
of course, is only speculation. But... In all the madness, we seemed to
forget about a key element to these events. One can't help but wonder
in this situation, where in the fucking world is Becky Bukah? Where did
she disappear to? Was she ever even on planet Lohtu? Will she
ever return? Is she ok? Sadly........ I don't think we'll ever know.
LOTUS BOOM
The End of an Era
Official Lotus Boom SupaPhat Insignia |
Below are some pictures from the party, a walkthrough video of the room, pics of the room, a few HILARIOUS vids from neema and evan that surfaced, a family photo and some funny pics from filming the "Becky's Big Adventure" advertisement. I myself failed to take any sick dancing videos which was my main mission at this party... I hid the video camera in the cupboard at one point and proceeded to drink away my memory of doing so. But thanks to some friends, the party has a few small videos to showcase its INTENSITY. As per usual, if any of you have ANY pics or ANY videos from the party, or just wanna tell me a funny story about your night or something, let me know!!!!
ROOM PICS
Wall 1 |
Wall 4 |
One of 4 signs placed around the venue to mark the location. |
VIDEOS
A FEW OF HALEY'S PICS
New Hands being their usual chronbag selves |
Bernhab makes an appearance |