Approaching Party Vortex...

Hello party people. I am currently writing to you from the bottom of the bomblantic ocean... There is talk among my new sea mammal friends that some crazy galactic vortex is eating up the world, chunk by chunk...Pretty intense. IVE certainly never heard of anything like that before. On top of this, some more crazy news was recently released via BeckyComm News Satellites stating that people's radios all over the world, are picking up strange sounds from what most believe are coming from INSIDE the vortex...Bobby Von Dongledwank from Los Angeles California is one of many to be interviewed about the strange sounds coming through his radio...Here is a short excerpt from Becky's interview with him.

Becky: So like, I mean, you totally like heard shet coming through ur radio? That's so fucked? I mean like, I would like. TOTALLY. Chron. If I heard shet like that, right?

Bobby: Uh. Yeah.? Sorry, I know I already asked- and seriously im TOTALLY not trying to be offensive, but you're a real interviewer? Like, for a news station?

Becky: *visibly not down* Are you fucking serious?

Bobby: *immediately uncomfortable* uh, Ahem. S-sorry becky.

Becky: That's right betch.

Bobby: K, so anyways, about your question...Yeah, I was totally just chillin' listening to my fav radio station, wreckyourface fm and like, suddenly these crazy sounds started cutting in, like...

Becky: *whisperish, really interested voice* Oh mae gaaawd...? (leaning in curious)

Bobby: Yeah like, honestly, to tell you the truth, it just sounded like- like..

Becky: Like wut bobbee?

Bobby: Like a really. Intense. RAVE.

Becky: oh. maee. GAWWWDD!!--becky's SOOOO down!!

Bobby: YEAH like! I started rockin out so hard in my truck, I literally lost my shit! Like the phattest beats I've ever heard in my life. And it sounded like tons of people screaming in joy at the top of their lungs and the sound of tons and tons of people jumping up and down to the beat of the music! Man....I wish I could find out where they were transmitting from...I'm so down?

Becky: Well Bobby....*really genuine but cracked out becky smile* I heard something interesting from my girl Cindy....I heard, and I'm not bonkers, trust me. This vortex thing that's eating up the world? I heard, that's where it goes... It goes to this little void in the universe where people come from all walks of life, and rock the fuck out in a unified state of euphoria.

Bobby: But when do you think it'll hit Toronto? How..-how long do we have? HOW LONG?!

Becky: I heard it's gonna slam us hard in may.

Bobby:   :O !!!

WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT BABES. STRAIGHT FROM THE MOUTH OF THE  GOD OF PARTYING HERSELF. This crazy Vortex is gonna come and suck us all away into an ultimate party in the middle of the universe for one night in May.

I heard the stars and planets are beautiful out there....
-BeckyComm News Sunday April 1, 2012. 1:16pm.